Why the oceans must dieUS President George W. Bush announced Monday night that he has ordered military strikes against any and all Hurricanes that enter the US. Poseidon, Oceanus, and the Kraken prepare for US air raids.
"At this hour, American and coalition forces are in the early stages of military operations to eliminate the deadly threat created by Hurricanes across our globe," Bush said in a nationally-televised address. "On my orders, coalition forces have begun striking selected targets of military importance to undermine Poseidon’s ability to wage war," he said.
"I promise I'll blow shit up on your behalf, America"Bush continued stating that "these strikes are opening stages of what will be a broad and concerted campaign against the ocean."
He vowed that the US-led forces would fight until victory, noting that the war against the sea could be longer and more difficult than the Iraq war, the Philippine Insurrection, and the Crusades combined.
Bush was speaking two hours and 15 minutes after his ultimatum for the Oceanus and his son Chronos to leave the ocean or face a war expired.
Hurricane promises to punch America in it's 'nards'The White House confirmed after the raids began that the United States had launched a military action to disarm Poseidon and retrieve his spiked trident, which has been a symbol for the ocean’s tyrannical unpredictability. "The opening stages of the disarmament of the Hurricanes regime have begun,"
White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters minutes after air raid sirens were heard over the Atlantic.
Hurricane has been blamed for bouts of incompetanceUS warplanes raided the Atlantic Ocean about one and a half hours after the expiration of the deadline set by US President George W. Bush for Oceanus to leave the ocean or face war.
Big explosions were heard, the ocean was lit up by flares and sirens were heard throughout the cities of the deep, home for some 500 billion sea creatures.
For God's sake! Look what it did to this girl's umbrella! How long are we going to stand for this?Coral reefs of the mermaid kingdom were attacked in the three rounds of US air raids on the ocean, leaving several thousand floating, bloated casualties, but it remained unknown that any top ocean officials were among the injured.
The war was declared after the US failed to win support of majority in the UN Security Council for their draft resolution that would have authorized a war on Tsunamis, waterspouts, whirlpools, and rapids that have plagued humanity for centuries
"This is bullshit if the Hurricanes think they can get away with this!"Three permanent members of the Security Council, namely China, France and Russia, opposed the US-led military attack on the ocean and insist that inspections and talks with the deadly element of water should continue.
The United States started the war on the ocean in its second preemptive strike in the US history. The first being the Iraq war, which ended up being a tremendous success against terror and for the US’s perception to the world.
Don't worry 'bout nuttin, Bi-otch! Says BushEarlier, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan warned the United States and Britain that "under international law, the responsibility for protecting civilians in conflict falls on the belligerents. But this is the ocean, so fuck it, all bets are off.”
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